Hilltown Families


Let’s Pretend: A Discussion on Violence “Ok daddy. Let’s go in my tent and you get to kill me.” These were the words uttered by my VERY sheltered three-year-old daughter just last night. I was shocked. Daddy was shocked. He immediately responded, “I will play with you Ila, but I won’t ever play ‘killing’. That just isn’t a nice thing to play.” To distract her, he pretended to see a dragon in… Read More

There is no way to be a perfect mother. “There is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one.” This quote by Jill Churchill has followed me around lately. I have seen it on TV, in print, on Pinterest, posted on Facebook and on Twitter. It has shown up so often lately that I get the distinct feeling that it is speaking right to… Read More

Have Faith in Your Children Strength I was a big ol’ chicken this week. I mean a shakin-in-my-boots-anxiety-ridden-big-ol’-BAWK-BAWK-chicken. Last column and the column before that, I had hinted that there were things going on at my daughter Ila’s current daycare/preschool that weren’t all that wonderful. Between the mean girl attitude, and the teachers’ lack of motivation to implement the suggestions given to them by Ila’s physical and occupational therapists, coupled with the… Read More

Mean Girls, At Age 3 “Go home, Ila!” Those three words, said by a three year old no less to my sweet-natured, well behaved, lovely, and special daughter (all right, all right I may be a tad biased…) made me squeeze the life out of my steering wheel from rage as it was relayed to me by that beautiful girl of mine on the way home from a grocery store visit. I… Read More

Special She’s just a girl. Not special. Not any different than any other toddler. She’s infatuated with Princess Sofia and Doc McStuffins. She has a stuffed lamb, Mi Mi, who she can’t be without. She adores her daddy and loves playing school because her mommy is a teacher. She’s a pint size philosopher who packs a punch with wise words that are seemingly beyond MY years. But she isn’t special. She’s just… Read More

Introducing Jess… So Ila has a sister. Now stop calculating and clutching your chest. I am not and never will be pregnant again. The vasectomy and heart condition has ensured that (And honestly…phew.). And no, no there is no illegitimate child involved. Although, I am sure there are some who live to fuel the small town gossip mill who just read my first line and ran off to shout THAT type of… Read More

Leaving Stressors Outside the Front Door for the New Year! January; the month of promises to change, to improve, to start anew. We usually are gung-ho, walkin’ that treadmill, drinking those smoothies, foregoing those nasty cigarettes for…well…awhile. But let’s be honest, Hindsight tells us that we rarely CHANGE…I mean REALLY CHANGE. Pretty soon that treadmill is collecting laundry that hasn’t quite dried, those smoothies are impossible to drink because the blender is… Read More

Happy Holidays, Everyone! Our friend, Hindsight has been really busy this season. He is working overtime reminding me of the mistakes I made over the many Christmases with my sons. He’s reminded me of the ridiculous pickles I had gotten myself into, and the misery irrationally placed upon me because of perceived have-to’s and should-do’s. And like the loyal friend that he is, he has taught me much this season, or I… Read More

The Experience of Hindsight Hindsight. It isn’t just for parents who have raised children for 10-20 years. It really is a super power that ANYONE can have. Making friends with and becoming wise because of Hindsight can happen to each and every human who has ever made a mistake or has been dissatisfied with any aspect of their lives. John Reyes once said, “Over the last few years my education was not… Read More

I Am Struggling Dear Readers I am struggling dear readers. I am struggling. I have decisions to make. Hard ones. Life changing ones. The decisions I need to make are similar decisions to ones I had to make when my sons were little. And that damn Hindsight is dogging me. Being older and so-called wiser, having a friend named Hindsight, can just add pain to things that are already feeling excruciating. Sometimes,… Read More

The City Slicker Vs. The Country Bumpkin I once read a book where the mother was tired of the constant lack of respect doled out by her entire family. She felt invisible in many ways, and so one day she decided to test out the literalness of that invisibility. While at a beach with her family, she calmly put on her shoes, took her purse and walked across the street to an… Read More

So We Have a Kitten So we have a kitten. Yes…these words I never thought I would utter ever…EVER in my lifetime. But, here I am saying them… “We have a kitten.” His name is Jete, short for Jeter, the only Yankee my daughter Ila knows. Naming a cat Jete should also give you an idea of who was behind the idea of getting the kitten…that would be daddy. Here’s the thing;… Read More

The Dreaded Happened Last Night The dreaded happened last night.  A usually very easy-going-as-long-as-you-do-my-routine-I’ll-go-to-bed, Ila was not easy going at all.  Last night, I heard the creaking of our hall floor at around 9pm, which meant that Ila, for the first time since being in her big girl bed, had ventured out of it at a forbidden hour.  I immediately stepped out of my bedroom and using my sternest “mommy” voice I… Read More

Happy Dancing The countdown to my daughter Ila’s first dance class was a flurry of activity.  There was of course the research it took to find the exact right creative movement class.  Next we had to find the perfect ballet slippers, the tights, and the leotard.  These coveted clothing items sat on the shelf in her room and she’d pat them each night before bed.  Each afternoon, even though she knew the… Read More

Unconditional If you read this column often, you will know that my relationship with my teenage sons has been contentious and nearly nonexistent at times, especially lately. There are oodles of reasons for the tension and problems, all that have been ruminated upon ad nauseum here in my previous column,”Snakes and Snails: Teenage Boys Tales,” and in my blog, Muddled Mother. So you, dear readers, will probably be just as surprised as I… Read More

Floating on a Universal Wind My daughter turns 3 in two weeks. Three. That means that it has been three years and nine months since the surprise of my life happened. Since I stood in my miniscule bathroom with the new-fangled electronic EPT test in my hand that kept blinking the word “yes” over and over until the motion of that, coupled with my utter shock, made me feel dizzy and faint…. Read More

“NO!” “No.” That one word starts it ALL doesn’t it? “No.” Such a simple word. Just two letters, but packs a punch especially when it comes from the mouth of an angelic toddler who, up to that point, had been sailing through her “two’s” with an ease that made this mom a tad complacent. Silly me…I thought we were home free. After all, my little girl will turn three in September. Terrible… Read More

I Am Not a Player I am not a player. No, no…I don’t mean the polyester-wearing-Victoria’s-Secret-peekin’-buttons-opened-to-my-navel player. No! Sheesh. I am NOT talking about THAT kind of player. I am talking about get-out-the-Fisher-Price-sit-down-on-th-rug-make-your-voice-high-for-the-girl-doll-and-a-low-voice-for-the-boy-doll kind of player. I am not kidding when I say that playing dolls or tea party or with a Dora kitchen gives me the anxiety of a bomb-squad member trying to keep an explosive from blowing up a town… Read More

I Have Always Been a Fantasizer I have always been a fantasizer. I am sure that there is not one human being who knows me who is shocked by that statement. If I analyzed my tendency to live outside of reality, I would have to tell you that it started as a child; a very young child. My fantasizing began as innocent conjuring; imagining situations which if true would earn me the… Read More

A List of Golden Rules for Divorced Parents A high school acquaintance of mine recently contacted me. I knew from Facebook statuses and through our small town gossip grapevine (of which 1/1000 of what you hear is truth) that he’d recently gone through a divorce. He wondered if there was a blog like mine, Muddled Mother, for fathers who were… well… muddled as well. Specifically he was looking for advice on how… Read More

A Strong Woman “I am going to get married.” This simple sentence was uttered two nights ago while Ila and I were sitting together playing. When I say that this phrase was completely out of the blue (we were playing with a Fisher Price car driving it to and fro on a mat of a city. We were stopping at the store, at the park…and BOOM!!! Out of the blue…there it was…”I… Read More

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