Energy is constantly changing. I honor the energy. It’s all around us. There are three types of invisible forces dancing inside us….emotions, thoughts, and life force energy. When we stuff down our emotions, we are creating blocks in our physical bodies, which make us more susceptible to illness. Life experiences trigger our emotions. All of us, kids and parents, need to express those emotions as they rise and fall away. But what do we do with all the people who quickly and shockingly aim their anger at us when we least expect it? How do we stop the “Grinches,” the “crazy makers,” the antagonists from knocking us over with their anger, hate, resentment, negativity? We don’t is the short answer.

We can’t control what other people do and say. And we can’t keep people away. Our daily lives are filled with interactions with other people. We can’t live on an island alone, although some people try it. Isolation is not the answer. Relationships are the connections and meanings on which we create our experiences. But how do we deal with friends, family, caretakers, employers, strangers who are mean to us, who hurt us, who keep bumping into our ethics and triggering our fear or anger?

You imagine yourself completely safe and strong and then genuinely ask if you can help them. Then you simply listen, without defensive responses. You can hear angry people, without allowing them to affect your own emotions. You can also ask them not to yell. And ask them to talk about their anger or pain. Anger is an emotion that is best dealt with intimately, not thrown at one another like daggers, not used as an outward, emotional hot-potato.

When I lose my temper, my friend used to say, “She’s pushing your buttons again. Get rid of your buttons, so she can’t push them.” Thich Nhat Hanh agrees. He says in his book called Anger – to eliminate your buttons, you must take very gentle and deliberate care of your emotions. Hold your anger close and give it love and attention. “Anger is your baby,” he writes. We often push our emotions aside, but that just makes them grow and feel worse, like a crying baby. Cradle and love your baby. So now, I sit quietly, visualize myself younger and I tenderly ask her questions like…

• Why are you so angry?
• Were you hurt in the past by something or someone?
• Can I do something to douse the flames or tame the fire of anger inside you?
• Tell me how to help, because your anger needs my attention and most of all my love and understanding.

When someone else is making you crazy, then look inside yourself. When someone else is taking up too
many of your thoughts, then look inside yourself. Your anger is crying for you to listen. Self-compassion
is the key.

If you’re looking for guidance and support in raising your little ones, Alison would like to help! Send your questions to: a.vale5000@gmail.com

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Alison Vale

Alison was born and raised deep in the woods of Pennsylvania, where her childhood imagination ran wild and free. As a scabby-kneed tomboy she seemed fearless, yet as she grew older, her fears and anxieties clearly got worse. She attained her Master’s Degree in Sport Psychology. As a clinical researcher and biostatistician at a university medical center for 18 years, Alison co-authored many medical articles and observed first-hand the short-comings of conventional medicine. She left clinical academia to become a Reiki Master Teacher and author. Her goal is to forge energy medicine into conventional medicine and share more intriguing stories and workshops. She has an 8-year-old son and a 12-year-old daughter, and is still learning every hour of every day how to parent.