Hindsight Parenting: Raising Kids the Second Time Around


“Hindsight’s 20/20.” You’ve heard of this popular phrase.  How many of us—if we knew then what we know now– would do so many things differently as parents?  It seems that our children sometimes have to suffer through parents who are winging it; newbie archers of sorts– learning as we go–flinging arrows in the air and rarely hitting a bull’s-eye.  As problems occur, we ask professionals for advice, listen on the edges of our seats to Dr. Phil, and devour parenting books for answers.  Still, we get things wrong–a lot, and our mistakes and mishaps only become more apparent the older our children get. How many parents wish they could have several hundred “do-overs” in order to use the wisdom we all inevitably gather after years of parenting?  Alas chances for do-overs are almost impossibilities.

Did you notice I said, ‘almost’ back there?  Yes, a do-over is ALMOST an impossibility.  I say ‘almost’ because for reasons unknown some wacky universal plan allowed me a second chance after 17 years to do this mom thing again.  Okay, okay so it isn’t a COMPLETE re-do.  I mean my 15 year old and 18 year old sons didn’t magically “Benjamin Button-it” and turn into infants again.  However the arrival of my daughter and a diagnosis of a life threatening heart condition two years ago afforded me a chance to look back upon and learn from my near two decades of parenting experiences (or I should say parenting blunders).  After wandering through those cobwebby memories, some painful, some joyous, others embarrassing and downright shameful, I’ve resolved to use the wisdom gathered on my first go-round as mama in order to do a better job on my second go-round.  On this leg of my mommy journey, hindsight will be my guide.

I am so excited about this new column because I am writing it as a “new” parent of a daughter who has the unique perspective of “been there, done that,” (having the infinite wisdom that is inevitably gathered while parenting for two decades.) Hopefully you will join me and be able to learn from my previous parenting highs and lows–just as I am–by sifting through the many stories I share of the mishaps, misjudgments and course corrections I made on my first try at being mom in order to gather needed advice in order to mother my daughter differently.  I am hoping that my stories will help all parents tap into their innate parenting wisdom via my cautionary tales about situations that most parents need to navigate with their children. I can’t wait to share with you the wisdom gleaned from my parenting experience.  Most of all, I am hoping that you all can relish in the fact that you are not the only ones who feel like they don’t know what they are doing when it comes to parenting.  In this column my hindsight will allow me to reminisce about my muddled intentions and misguided decisions and will hopefully serve as valuable examples to help us all be the best parents we can be.


Logan Fisher

Logan has lived in Glens Falls, NY all her life. By day, she is an educator with 20 years experience, a mom to Aidan and Gannan, her two teenage boys, a new mommy to a beautiful daughter, Ila, and wife to the love of her life, Jeffrey. By night, weekends and any spare time she can find, Logan writes. She loves memoir and also adores writing essays about the challenges of parenthood. This year she started a parenting blog called A Muddled Mother, an honest place where mothers aren’t afraid to speak of the complications and difficulties that we all inevitably experience. Logan has been published in various children’s and parenting magazines including Today’s MotherhoodEye on EducationFaces, and Appleseed.  Logan’s previous column for Hilltown Families, Snakes and Snails: Teenage Boys Tales ran bi-monthly from June 2010-Feb. 2011, sharing stories of her first time around as a parent of two teenage boys. — Check out Hindsight Parenting: Raising Kids the Second Time Around every first and third Tuesday of the month.

4 Comments on “Hindsight Parenting: Raising Kids the Second Time Around

  1. I too am raising kids a second time around (God wiiling the adoption goes through. I have a 22 year old daughter and 19 year old son (and a 1 year old granddaughter). I have sibling foster children (boy 2 and girl 7 months)in my care since birth and we are in the process of adopting them. We joke we made all our mistakes the first time but now we know what we are doing:-)

  2. Logan, I have a grown Ila who has a baby! It is an unusual name – did you know there is a Sanskrit godess named Ila who was the progenitrix of human kind and “..from whose mouth words flowed liked milk from a mother’s breast.” I did not know until viewing an exhibit of some quilts comissioned by Judy Chicago and shown in Greenfield, MA. Best wishes, Mary

  3. Logan, I’m grateful to have found this blog! Thank you for sharing your important insights–I love the idea of having the chance to have a do-over. We live in Conway, and we’re defintiely looking forward to connecting more!

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