Q&A: Temper Tantrums… What to Do?
QUESTION AND ANSWERS
Temper tantrums! Remember them? Experiencing them for the first time? What works/worked for you when your little angel screams like a little banshee, holds her breath until blue, pulls his hair out, falls to the floor wildly kicking little legs into the air … in the middle of the grocery store?
- Swansea Benham Bleicher writes, “I highly recommend Tears and Tantrums by Aletha Solter.”
- Julie Gouldman Russell writes, “The best advice that I received, even though it sounds a bit weird, is to think of yourself as a slot machine. If they do a behavior (pulling the handle) and the action from you comes up that they want, even if it is only once – in their mind if they do that action again there is a chance that you will do the behavior again. (if the scream at the grocery store and you buy them candy to help settle them down – there is no reason for them to think that if they scream again that you won’t buy them candy again. It doesn’t always come up candy – but there is a chance…) It was good advice for me to think about my reactions and not always take the “easy” way out of a difficult situation.”
- Sally Campbell Galman writes, “I’m lucky, mine only seem to flip out at home. Then we send them to the “pillows” – meaning, go somewhere soft and scream it out while Mommy ignores you. Not pretty.”
- Karen Bayne writes, “I like “to the pillows” – that’s pretty sweet & wise. My kids pitched a few big ones at the store, but not many. I think with each kid I left a full cart of groceries in the store with my deepest apologies once each. That seemed to cure the worst of it (wish I had something as successful for whining). My little ones seemed to need to know that I was willing to leave it all there to deal with their outburst. We usually drove straight home (with mommy not speaking) and headed right into bed. That was not the picture they wanted to appear on their slot machine!”
- Shoshona King writes, “Am I bad? I actually kinda like it when I see other kids having temper tantrums, it reminds me that mine aren’t the only ones!”
[Image Credit: (ccl) Rafael Edwards]