National Talk Like a Pirate Day in Ashfield

Pirates ho!

Meet local hilltown artist Greg Ruth, illustrator of the new children's book: "A Pirate's Guide to First Grade," at Elmer's Store in Ashfield on Sunday, September 19th from 10am-1pm.

That’s right—we will be celebrating National Talk Like a Pirate Day with Greg Ruth, the book’s illustrator, at Elmer’s. He will be reading and signing his book from 10am – 1pm on Sunday. All pirates are invited to come in native pirate costume—little pirates and big pirates—all come dressed for the occasion! I should have the sail and jolly roger hoisted by then. We will be pirates one and all! (Free breakfast to anyone who can correctly sing, “I am the very model of a modern major general” from the Pirates of Penzance in its entirety on the spot! –At tempo!

Further speaking of pirates:

Mike Skalski came by the other day and said, “Hey, you wanna go someplace cool?” When Mike Skalski asks that, go. When he adds, “You’ll be home by 10:00!” don’t believe him. But otherwise, it’s worth going along.

Accompanying Mike, I ended up in the “Pit” area of the Demolition Derby at the Franklin County Fair. That was kind like being with a herd of pirates—guys and some kick-ass girls ready to kick some scurvey butt in some bombed-out cars. (At one point I looked around at the crowd of Derby drivers and thought, “If I were trying to cast a Civil War film, I would put out a call for Demolition Derby drivers, and when they arrived I would say, ‘Okay! You all got the job! You are now soldiers in the Union army!’” They looked perfect—revved up for some rowdy action. The longer I watched, the more I thought, these guys have the temperament of modern-day pirates! Swashbuckling, swaggering, spitting pirates! Good that they had no cutlasses to swing about; only 2000-pound automobiles, instead. I had a short conversation with a young guy who engages in Ultimate Fighting—fighting in which, he says, the only rule is that you can’t hit someone in the groin area. (I just looked it up on Wikipedia and found that there are, indeed rules, but nothing that would keep someone from really getting hurt.) I asked him if women liked watching Ultimate Fighting and he said, “Chicks fight too! Big burly chicks!” I had more questions, but he finally walked away from me. I think he thought I was weird. And, in the pit area of the Demolition Derby, I did indeed, stand out as weird. But I had a good time any way. (And I didn’t get home until after midnight.)


Nan Parati - Elmer's StoreNan Parati

Nan is the proprietor of Elmer’s Store in Ashfield, MA. A New England transplant from the Deep South, Nan shares her southern wit, wisdom and charm in her column, “Notes from Nan.”

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