Notes from Nan: Big Elmer as a Real Girl!
BY HF Contributing Writer, Nan Parati
Those of you who can remember me probably never thought of me as a girl-girl. Or, even as a girl with normal girl hair. I’ve never worn make-up, I have had girly shoes before, but only because my friend Tracy talked me into believing I should have them, but I never wore them. I don’t even have regular girl dresses that are really in style. It’s just who I’ve been, all my life.
You may recall last year I was so busy down in New Orleans that I never had time to even replenish the color in my hair to cover the gray streak. This year the gray streak grew to just about as wide as the Mississippi River, I had one day off between the two weekends of the festival and I decided to go over to the Aveda Salon at the Mall just to bring the two banks of the river a little closer together.
Well, of course if you go to get your hair done at the Mall, you’re going to come back with something that very closely resembles what the rest of the country is doing.
Before we go any further I would like to say that I am very, very particular about my hair. Poor Mary Ellen at Hair by the Lake works very, very hard to put product in my hair after she’s done with it, but I say, NO! NO BLOW-DRYING! NO LEAVE-IN CRAP!” (I may be getting my hair dyed, but other than that I’m totally natural!)
Well at the mall, they do not pay attention to that sort of insistence, and that girl—well, first she made me totally blonde—not just sort of blond highlights like I thought she was going to do, but really, really blonde! (You can’t tell what’s going on until you’re completely done) and THEN she started doing all kinds of things with hands-full of stuff and driers, and God-knows-what-all, and when she was done, I looked like a real, live, normal girl! With very blonde, very smooth hair that just kind of flipped up on the ends in a very dignified way! I could have gone to a cocktail party! I could have been on a volunteer committee to raise money for the park! No one in the world would have thought I was my regular self!
People didn’t recognize me, guys on the crew drove up to me the next day and said, “Hey! You look good! What you did like that?”
It was just amazing! So this is what being a regular girl is like!
I think I could grow to like it and I did live that way for as long as I could hold out against washing my hair. Finally I had to, however, and I went back to being me.
But for four glorious days, I was a regular girl with fabulous hair.
There are those who would say that all it would take for me to have fabulous hair every day would be a blow-drier and a round brush, but to them I say, “No way! I’m totally natural. I don’t do that.”
FRIDAY NIGHT MENU (05/09/08)
For dinner this Friday, May 9th, Jim is making:
- Lobster and Crab Ravioli with Scallops and Shrimp
- in a Pesto Cream Sauce
- Vegetarian Option: Mushroom Ravioli with Vegetables in a Pesto Cream Sauce
- Both served with a Fresh Spring Greens Salad
Next Friday, May 16th, guest chef Neftali Duran will prepare Elmer’s 2nd Annual Mexican Night!
And let’s see what old Rob has to say this week.
(You know, this goes out to people all over the country who have never even seen Elmer’s store! I have seen several of those people over the last two weekends, all of whom said, “Rob is freakin’ hilarious!” Word to the wise Rob—outshine me and you’ll be back in Minnesota with the rest of the Minnesotans!
That’s it, Rob, pack up your stuff and go back to Minnesota! Tears are literally running down my cheeks. I definitely think you should endeavor to publish The Diary of Embarrassment.”—from Minnesota. It is fabulous! In fact, too fabulous. You’re making me look mediocre, kid, so I’m sorry. You’re being transferred to a desk job. No wait—you would have a computer there. You’re being transferred to a hard labor job where you’ll never be funny again!
I’m sorry you have to follow that, Donna, but really, Farm Reports aren’t meant to be funny—they’re meant to serve as shopping lists for people who want good, fresh, organic produce close to home!
Let’s keep our local farmers in business!
See you very soon,
Big E of the fabulous hair!