Mall Hair

Notes from Nan: Big Elmer as a Real Girl!
BY HF Contributing Writer, Nan Parati

Those of you who can remember me probably never thought of me as a girl-girl. Or, even as a girl with normal girl hair. I’ve never worn make-up, I have had girly shoes before, but only because my friend Tracy talked me into believing I should have them, but I never wore them. I don’t even have regular girl dresses that are really in style. It’s just who I’ve been, all my life.


You may recall last year I was so busy down in New Orleans that I never had time to even replenish the color in my hair to cover the gray streak. This year the gray streak grew to just about as wide as the Mississippi River, I had one day off between the two weekends of the festival and I decided to go over to the Aveda Salon at the Mall just to bring the two banks of the river a little closer together.

Well, of course if you go to get your hair done at the Mall, you’re going to come back with something that very closely resembles what the rest of the country is doing.


Before we go any further I would like to say that I am very, very particular about my hair. Poor Mary Ellen at Hair by the Lake works very, very hard to put product in my hair after she’s done with it, but I say, NO! NO BLOW-DRYING! NO LEAVE-IN CRAP!” (I may be getting my hair dyed, but other than that I’m totally natural!)

Well at the mall, they do not pay attention to that sort of insistence, and that girl—well, first she made me totally blonde—not just sort of blond highlights like I thought she was going to do, but really, really blonde! (You can’t tell what’s going on until you’re completely done) and THEN she started doing all kinds of things with hands-full of stuff and driers, and God-knows-what-all, and when she was done, I looked like a real, live, normal girl! With very blonde, very smooth hair that just kind of flipped up on the ends in a very dignified way! I could have gone to a cocktail party! I could have been on a volunteer committee to raise money for the park! No one in the world would have thought I was my regular self!

People didn’t recognize me, guys on the crew drove up to me the next day and said, “Hey! You look good! What you did like that?”

It was just amazing! So this is what being a regular girl is like!

I think I could grow to like it and I did live that way for as long as I could hold out against washing my hair. Finally I had to, however, and I went back to being me.

But for four glorious days, I was a regular girl with fabulous hair.

There are those who would say that all it would take for me to have fabulous hair every day would be a blow-drier and a round brush, but to them I say, “No way! I’m totally natural. I don’t do that.”


For dinner this Friday, May 9th, Jim is making:

  • Lobster and Crab Ravioli with Scallops and Shrimp
  • in a Pesto Cream Sauce
  • Vegetarian Option: Mushroom Ravioli with Vegetables in a Pesto Cream Sauce
  • Both served with a Fresh Spring Greens Salad

Next Friday, May 16th, guest chef Neftali Duran will prepare Elmer’s 2nd Annual Mexican Night!

And let’s see what old Rob has to say this week.

(You know, this goes out to people all over the country who have never even seen Elmer’s store! I have seen several of those people over the last two weekends, all of whom said, “Rob is freakin’ hilarious!” Word to the wise Rob—outshine me and you’ll be back in Minnesota with the rest of the Minnesotans!

Rob’s Grocery Talk with Rob

Diary of embarrassment

One night just a few years ago, I spent New Year’s Eve playing poker at my friend’s house in St. Paul. There were about eight of us seated at a big round table. The hosts had a big English Bull dog named Burp who loved to lie down under the table and get lots of attention from everyone’s feet. It was nice for us, too because we were all in our socks and it was a cold night.

During one hand I was concentrating on my cards while unconsciously giving Burp a real good rubdown with my foot. I was rubbing his belly, scratching his ears, burying my toes under mounds of warm, fuzzy skin. I must have really been deep in thought because it didn’t even faze me that Burp was lying on the couch across the room.

It was at this point the guy on my left determined that he had had enough “footsy” from me and jerked his feet away.

Don’t you all feel just a little better about yourselves now?

Grocery Talk

Some new products are starting to make there way through the pipeline, and hopefully straight to your mouth!

First up is Fastachi® Mixed Nuts! They come in handy 3.5 ounce resealable (and reusable) bags. Bags that stand up on their own! Five delicious varieties.

Harvest Nut Mix

Cranberry Nut Mix

PB & J Mix

Extra Nutty Mix

Hot & Sour Wasabi Mix- derishasu! Ha Ha!

Next up we have Stacy’s® All Natural Baked Pita Chips Infused With Parmesan, Garlic, And Herb. Holy….. God are these good! These come in handy 1.5 ounce bags that don’t stand up on their own. They just tip right over. Stupid bags.

Yes, all this and many, many more exciting things for you to try throughout the summer. All coming to Elmer’s Store! Watch this space for details!

That is all for now. Thanks for reading!

That’s it, Rob, pack up your stuff and go back to Minnesota! Tears are literally running down my cheeks. I definitely think you should endeavor to publish The Diary of Embarrassment.”—from Minnesota. It is fabulous! In fact, too fabulous. You’re making me look mediocre, kid, so I’m sorry. You’re being transferred to a desk job. No wait—you would have a computer there. You’re being transferred to a hard labor job where you’ll never be funny again!

I’m sorry you have to follow that, Donna, but really, Farm Reports aren’t meant to be funny—they’re meant to serve as shopping lists for people who want good, fresh, organic produce close to home!

Let’s keep our local farmers in business!

Farm Report


ASHFIELD TOMATO SALSA from Through the Front Door: Recipes from Ashfield Homes

5 medium tomatoes
½ teaspoon salt
1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and minced
5 green onions, minced
2 teaspoons minced cilantro
2 teaspoons balsamic vinegar
2 teaspoons olive oil
Salt & pepper to taste

Core and dice tomatoes into a medium-sized bowl. Add salt and let sit
½ hour. Pour off juice. Add all other ingredients. Chill. Makes 3


MESCLUN (MIXED SALAD GREENS) from Sidehill Farm delivered Wednesday, 4/30/08

FIDDLEHEAD FERNS from Ashfield delivered Monday, 4/28/08

DANDELION GREENS from Spring Water Gardens were delivered FRIDAY, 4/25/08

BABY CARROTS from Spring Water Gardens were delivered FRIDAY, 4/18/08

PUMPKINS from Scott’s Orchard are ON SALE : ½ PRICE

POTATOES from Manda Farm in Plainfield :
Fingerling potatoes (in the cooler on the bottom shelf)

PLANTS from Spring Water Gardens


Organic (CA) Herb: Basil
Organic (CA) Red Beets
Organic (CA) Bok Choy
Organic (CA) Cauliflower
Organic (CA) Celery
Organic (HI) Ginger Root
Organic (Mexico) Limes
Organic (CA) Mushrooms: Crimini
Organic (CA) Peas: Snow
Organic (CA) Parsnips
Organic (CA) Potatoes: by the pound
Organic (CA) Radishes
Organic (CA) Spinach: Baby
Organic (VT) Sprouts: Alfalfa
Organic (VT) Tomatoes: Long Wind A’s

To make specific produce requests, email me at

See you very soon,

Big E of the fabulous hair!

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: